What Do You Value?

©2012 Joan M Newcomb

As Essence, there are no ethics.  When you transcend the physical realm, there is no time, no space, and no good or bad.  Everything is joyous and expansive, there are no limitations.  The Universe creates from this space.

When we squeeze ourselves into this itty-bitty living space called a body, we encounter density and effort,  and gain an emotional compass which is set by our values.

Our core values are what we hold as important, it's how we make certain choices and why we may be unhappy in certain relationships or jobs.

It's useful to know what your top five values are, in order to make decisions and navigate yourself through life.

For instance, perhaps you went into accounting, because you had a core value of security and in your mind that meant having a secure job bringing a steady income.  And then you find yourself in a back office with your computer and software and a lot of facts and figures.  

Numbers are fun to play with, so initially you enjoyed yourself but after a while started getting depressed.  Because you have another core value, around communication, and in that back office there aren't any people to talk to!  

Post-it notes and quick emails or texts aren't doing it for you, so it's time to rethink your work requirements.  

Another area our values impact is relationships.  One partner may hold truth and honesty as their top three values.  The other partner, these are lower down on their own list.  But that person may have communication as number one, so they talk a lot.  Partner number one may initially feel they're being told everything, and later on discover partner number two "lies by omission".  This can create enormous conflict when trying to operate as a couple or in a business!  

Look at the areas of your life, personal relationship, family, work, play, etc.  Are there any that you are unsatisfied with?  Possibly these are out of balance with your core values.

Your values may be completely obvious to you, or you may be completely oblivious to them.  They may be so integral to you that you can't even see what they are.  And you expect the rest of the world to have the same ones!

Whenever you interact with people from different cultures, or visit other countries, you'll encounter a new set of values, some you'll agree with, and some you may not understand.  When you know this, it's easier to get along with everyone (or protect yourself in doing business with some)!

A playful way to figure out your values is to come up with a word list of different ones.  Then remember times in your life where you had strong motivation to do something or act in certain ways.  You can discover that a key value or values were what drove you to make your choices.

You feel happy when your life lines up with your core values.

So this week, I invite you to come up with five values that are important to you, and notice the areas of your life where you are living by them, and areas where they are missing.  It may only take baby steps in these areas in order to make drastic transformation!

Try this for seven days and see what happens!

My Love Affair With Time

©2012 Joan M Newcomb

I will be very sad on 12/21/2012 (when the Mayans say that time ends) because I have a special affinity with time.

I enjoy waking up early.  When I was about 8, I read in an Enid Blyton book a technique for waking up at a precise time by dropping your head back into your pillow 6 times if you wanted to wake at 6,  or 7 if you wanted to wake at 7.  I no longer have to do that as I innately wake up on time (or I have some fantastic time-conscious guides who wake me)!

I enjoy getting to appointments and meetings on time.  When I moved to Seattle 31 years ago, I always used to get places 20 minutes early.   Everyone there seemed to be 20 minutes late.

After moving to an island near Seattle, where everyone is on "island time", it took me ten years to slow down enough to show up on time, and another ten years to be comfortable with being within 5 minutes of an appointed time.

As a coach, a reader, and a Matrix worker, I learned that amazing breakthroughs and transformations can come in 30 or 60 minutes.  The parameters of time allowed infinite possibilities to happen.

As a business owner, "solo-preneur" I've discovered that operating with time-clarity leads to abundance.  Spacing out, being vague, getting entangled with time-wasters, are signs of poverty consciousness.  Even giving too much time away (such as getting overloaded with volunteer work, rather than income-producing actions) can lead to under earning.

Yet, as a Matrix energy worker, I also know that time is expandable (and contractable).  There are techniques you can use to get places faster (e.g., dissolving traffic jams).  You can send a parallel self out to get things done, so that when you get around to doing it in body, it completes more quickly (since you've already done it on an energy level).

As my mother progresses with Alzheimer's, the ability to get anywhere on time goes out the window.  In order to get to her Day Center by 10am, I have to start getting her up by 8am.  Any doctor's appointments I have to factor in bathroom time (15-30 minutes at home, and 15 minutes after we arrive).

I have to stay in the present moment with her, and also know we're in the final months.  We just had our last Mother's Day... we're coming up to her last birthday...  The blessing on Alzheimer's is that she doesn't remember she has cancer, and doesn't realize she's on hospice.  

Since she doesn't know she has a time limit imposed by doctors, perhaps she'll keep going beyond her time limit.  Maybe we'll reach December 21st, and all this time stuff will dissipate, and she can live timelessly.

And I will have to release my attachment to time, allowing an expansion into infiniteness.

Shadow Boxing

Shadow Boxing ©2012 Joan M Newcomb

How often do you have imaginary arguments in your head?  Or long conversations explaining the injustices done to you by others (sometimes with Oprah)!

I call these "Shadow Boxing".  You are sparring with your shadows.  You are jabbing at illusions.  It doesn't matter how real the situation was or is that you're talking about, inside your head it isn't real.

Oh, you could be talking to guides, it could be one of your sub personalities expressing themselves, but it's not really happening in front of you, in your body and with someone else in their body.

You're driving your car, you're tossing and turning at 3am, you're sitting in a meeting.  And between you're ears, you have a captive audience listening to your story.

I've had such a story going on in my head since before Christmas, when I decided not to move my mother to Seattle.  It's a potent story, I've actually shared it with some people with satisfying results.  But the point is, it's five months later .  And a significant amount of emotional energy is being wasted still recounting it (over and over again).

What's at the core of our story?  We want to be heard.  We want to be recognized.  We want to be understood.  We want wrongs to be corrected.  We want an apology or an amends.  We want the world to know WE ARE RIGHT.

Shadow boxing takes your energy backwards, towards the past, which no longer exists.

It's like trying to drive with your eyes on the rear view mirror.

It's time to tell a different story.  Redirect your focus towards more productive topics.

Your thoughts create energy.  You can create being depressed or happy, by what you're dwelling on.  The stories in your head show where you are directing your energy.

Grab yourself by the ears and turn in a more positive direction.

Make a new story up.  Day dream winning the lottery.  Recite a series of uplifting affirmations.

The more you do this, the easier it will be, and the less charge the old thoughts will have.

Doing this actually creates new neural pathways in the brain, and can chemically change your moods.  Whole new possibilities open up for you, because you're receptive to them now.

Try this for 7 days and see what happens!

Empowered Healing

©2012 Joan M Newcomb

Healers are going through an enormous transformation at this time.  You may be a Healer and not acknowledge that it is your Essence quality.  If you are naturally empathic, naturally tuned into other's feelings, and have an innate urge to make things better for other people,  you're a Healer.

Healers are naturally sensitive and like to create an atmosphere of serenity around them.  Friends like to come to them because they create a safe place for friends to grow and change.  Friends like to tell Healers all their problems, and always go away feeling a hundred times better.  Often, Healers come away from those conversations drained and preoccupied with their friend's problems.

Professional Healers have gone through training programs that give them skills for specific kinds of healing.  However most of those programs are still operating from last century lower consciousness levels.

An old paradigm was that the trained Healer was an expert in their field, whether it was Western Medicine or an alternative (because many alternative healing trainings, in an attempt to be taken seriously, adopted Western Medicine patterns of teaching).  As an expert, they know what's wrong with the patient, and they know how to fix it.

This is a very disempowering approach.  It leaves people dependent on the Professional Healer for relief, comfort, and improvement in their health.

Even when the Professional Healer knows better, and tries to shift to New Consciousness, old patterns still persist.  It's very uncomfortable for the ego to not be the expert, to step back and allow (something they're not in control of) a greater transformation to occur.

We have shifted to a greater level of embodiment, which brings a greater level of awareness and ability to inwardly transform.

Truth is, we are *all* experts in our own lives and health.  If we have a problem, we innately have the solution.  We may need assistance in healing and transformation (it's kind of hard to perform your own dental exams, for instance), but we're not helpless victims of fate needing rescuing.

The new paradigm of healing is Empowering.  It acknowledges you as whole and capable, and gives you ways to heal yourself.  Instead of making you come back for repeated appointments, because you need the professional to continue to fix the problem, you're given suggestions to continue healing in your own life.  You're the lead in this journey.

Natural healers who aren't professionals but spend every waking minute taking care of others, are being called to a different way of being as well.  Instead of looking outward to the neglect of their own well being, they're having to focus inward.  Often circumstances are arising to force them to change their focus, often through their own illness.

In focusing inward, however, you are still contributing to the healing of the world.  By centering within and creating internal well being, you are radiating that energy to others.  You are contributing to the Collective Consciousness.  When you heal yourself, you contribute that increased possibility to everyone else.

In letting go of making things better or "fixing" other's problems, you are empowering them to come up with their own solutions.  Sometimes the greatest healing is stepping back and letting that person have the consequences of their own actions.  Many people don't learn unless they have to do it for themselves.

When you focus on your own well being, you're more able to help others when they actually need it.

This week, notice any knee-jerk tendencies to change, fix or improve outside yourself (in other people's lives).  Give yourself a break and step back from the situation.  Take some time to turn within and reflect on your own life, what would feel good to you in the present moment.  Respond to your own needs first (for a change)!

Try this for 7 days and see what happens!

Confidence

©2012 Joan M. Newcomb

con·fi·dence
noun
1. full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.
2. belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance.
3. certitude; assurance.

What's the energy of confidence?  To have confidence, to be confident.  It feels good.  You feel capable.  You can tackle whatever's before you.

Whether going into a job interview or a first date, you're confident that it will go well.

Confidence isn't competition - I'm better than all those other candidates, or people on Match.Com.  With confidence, your focus isn't even on the others, it's on you & what's you're doing.

However, confidence is also inclusive.  If I can do it, so can everyone else.  If I feel confident, I want everyone to succeed.  I see the good in others and believe they're capable, too.

Where does confidence come from?  True confidence is Essence.  You are aligned with the Essence of Who You Are.  You are Being yourself.

Essence knows all, creates all, is Cosmic Consciousness, and You *are* Consciousness in physical form.

When you are aligned, attuned, with You, the real You, then confidence effortlessly radiates through You.

It's the body/personality that feels less than.  It's limited, by time, by space, it only knows what it's experienced from birth until now.  It's not going to make it out of this lifetime alive.  It experiences separation.

When we're aligned, attuned, we feel better, we feel connected.  We feel assured.

To stay consistently lined up, you can meditate, journey, have a continuous dialogue Self to body/personality.
The easiest way to begin lining up is to shift your perspective.  Identify yourself *as* Essence/Source/Spirit with a body (rather than a body with a soul).  I AM Essence, Source Spirit (rather than I have a soul, I have a spirit).

It immediately gives you a different world view.  You feel linked to all the resources of the Cosmic Internet.
 Try this for the next 7 days and see how your reality changes!

Real Love

©2012 Joan Newcomb

Much has been written about true love.  It's been the catalyst for wars and adventures.  It's been the seed for countless stories and movies.  It's been the reason for much heartache and misery as well.

We all have this urge to search for true love, this idea that our lives won't be fulfilled without it.  But very few of use know exactly what it is or what to look for.  Often it's right under our noses and we don't recognize it.

Instead, movies and books and plays popularize the myth, which is fantasy, not real.  It's instant attraction, at 'first sight', it's based on looks, it's superficial.  It's needy, it's approval seeking.  That kind of "love", if you can even call it that, cannot last, because it is so shallow and often selfish.

In relationships, the first few months are the 'honeymoon' period, characterized by fantasy love.  People say the nicest things to each other during this time.  They're trying to get on each other's good side, and in the early days trying to get into each other's pants.

Once the pink cloud dissipates, reality sets in.  Our expectations start showing.  The other person has to start matching our perfect picture of a long term partner.  Conflicts arise, as an opportunity for growth.  Relationships are strengthened or destroyed by them.

When we get married, it seems as if all the relationship work we did to get to that level of commitment goes right out the window.  All our family issues, our childhood experiences, our parents' "stuff", show up.  The person you married transforms into their parent and you don't know who they are!  We bring our own relationship 'dance steps' to our engagements and marriages and discover the other person salsas when we like to waltz.

If we don't figure out  a new dance with our partner, a unique blend of each of our favorite moves, the relationship becomes vulnerable.

When we have children, our focus changes.  They become the center of our attention and rightly so as their survival is dependent on our responding to their needs.

If we don't figure out how to have our couples relationship even while our family relationship is developing, the marriage becomes vulnerable.

Some spouses start to look to someone other than their partner to fulfill their emotional needs.  It's all too easy to make friends at work, find someone to talk to about what's happening at home.  This person listens to them.  This person always looks good (because they're dressed for work)!  Lines get crossed which may seem innocent and in actuality create betrayal and pain worse than rape, worse than the death of a child.

Some partners turn to alcohol, pot, or drugs to alleviate the emotional void in their lives.  What seems like recreational use insidiously becomes addiction.  The addict loves their substance more than any relationship in their life.  Overuse ruins marriages, families, friendships, finances, and always, if not checked, is fatal.

So much of the world's woes could be rectified if only we understood what Real Love is.

Real love is a full body experience.  You have to be grounded and present in order to have it.  Real love appreciates.  Real love sees clearly.  Real love accepts.

What gets you to the place of Real Love?  Sometimes it is the experience of caring for someone who is dependent on you for survival.  The voluntary self sacrifice of sleepless nights and changing diapers is ego transforming.  Sometimes it has to be the loss of superficial things, status symbols, jobs, houses, trophy spouses, to wake you up to what truly is important.

It is decidedly unromantic.  It is a soul decision, a soul choice, to show up and take responsibility.  To accept the things you cannot change that are outside of yourself, and to courageously change the things you can that are within.

It is a simple change of focus.  Take your sights off your fantasy and look at your reality.  What you've asked for, what you desire, is often right in front of you.  Hair uncombed, dirty sweats, nursing your child.  Standing by you during your second layoff in as many years.  Quietly supporting you as you decide to *not* go to your family reunion.

What may seem like hardship to get to this place is actually a gift.  So many people in this world stay at a superficial, one dimensional level and don't get to have this.  You have to let go of your resentments, let go of whatever you're using to escape reality, face yourself in order to get to Yourself.

Real love is a full body experience.  It feels like there's no blockages.  It's all Truth shining through all your chakras, your pores, all aspects of your heart, body and mind.  It's not conditional, not holding back, not judgmental.  It's standing in that bright light of Love/Truth.  Your entire being is conduit this energy.

You still may have all the same problems, but you have an inner sense that all is well.  Within, you have a greater sense of capacity, a renewed sense of self.

To one dimensional people this may seem boring.  To them, commitment on this level feels like being trapped.  But growing up is actually exhilarating and empowering.

It's the difference between choosing sugar water and choosing a full, three course meal.  Of fresh fruits, vegetables, grass fed meats, lovingly prepared for you by the Universe.

What do you choose?

On The 7th Day He Rested

On the7th Day He Rested ©2012 Joan M. Newcomb

Years ago I worked for a Church and one of the classes taught at the time was Psychic View of the Bible (it was *that* kind of Church).  I remember being told that only 10% of the Bible is accurate, because of all of the times it's been edited over the years.

In order to glean the Truth, you have to read it with Your own intuition.  One of the things I noticed was the story of creation, and how God took a break on the 7th day.  Really?  Omnipotent Consciousness, needing a break?

I realized it was a message to Consciousness in physical form that our bodies need breaks.  Our bodies need rest.  Consciousness never rests, Awareness is always Observing.

But our physical form needs a nap once in a while.

When we start on a spiritual path or a path of seeking higher Conscious- ness, we want to ignore the needs of the body.  Highly spiritual gurus and lamas and sages over the centuries have become celibate, gone on fasts, hung out in the wilderness (although most of that story was symbolic).

It's kind of missing the point.  We *are* Spirit, we're *already* spiritual.  We don't need to go out there to "get it", we don't need to starve or deprive the body to achieve enlightenment.  

The idea of not giving the body rest, or food, or affection, is based on the concept that it is a distraction or something to be disciplined.

Would you not give your child rest, or food, or affection?  You'd be an abusive parent!

We are Consciousness in physical form.  Not 'the power and presence of God'.  Not 'an aspect of God'.  We ARE Consciousness.

As Consciousness we are wise, all loving, eternally amused, infinitely compassionate.  We already know everything, we just can't/don't access all Our information because these bodies can only download so much before our circuits fry!  

Spiritual practices like meditation, yoga, can help raise our vibration to allow more energy/information in, but it still has limitations.

And that's why it needs naps.  And food.  And love.

Our bodies only know what they've experience from the moment they are born.  Our bodies are fearful of the future because they exist in the present moment.  The future represents death to the body because it doesn't exist out there.  It can freak out when You make so many changes in your life it doesn't have previous data to go on in order to function.  The future is a higher vibratory level that the body hasn't accelerated to yet.

The past can be both comforting and depressing to the body, because it's been there, but it's not there now.  The past is a lower vibratory level, the body has already grown beyond it, and to try to match the past or stay in it is invalidating.  Like keeping your 7 year old in kindergarten.

If you care for your body, it will take You where you want to go on your spiritual journey through life.  Most people's struggle with advancement is because their bodies are holding them back, just like a tired or hungry two year old is going to slow you down when traveling!

You can take responsibility for your body just as a loving parent would care for a child.  You can acknowledge it when it works hard, give it healthy food, put it to bed at a reasonable time, love it and nurture it in the ways you may not have received love and nurturing from your biological parents.

Addictions are a slightly different story.  It's when the body's needs are distorted and the addict personality is off and running the show.  Would you let your drunk or high teenager drive?

At the core of any addiction is the body's desire for comfort, to be pain free.  That first drink feels great.  That 10th one feels horrible.  

You are *not* caring for your body by letting it eat gallons of ice cream and zone out in front of the TV.  It doesn't feel good after a night like that.

It takes you further away from what you are really seeking.

The body can resist and be angry when you start to take charge after letting it run the show in that way.  There are spiritual programs for dealing with any addiction.  The 12 steps were actually based on 6 steps from a mystical group (extra steps were added so there weren't any loop holes for addicts to sneak through)!

Addiction thinks it is God, so it blocks Consciousness (although Conscious- ness is always there, just stepped back and waiting). At such times, it takes a supportive group of people who've 'been there' to offer experience, strength and hope in detoxing the body, recovering the personality, regaining spiritual awareness.

In the present moment, where your body exists, everything is very, very well.  You have everything you need.  Oxygen, daylight, nature.  It is the place where You, Consciousness, can manifest in physical form to experience the ecstatic wonder of physical sensation.  It's where you can initiate change, creation of experiences.

That's all you need to do this week, is be in present time, respond to your body when it expresses it's needs, and enjoy the sunshine!

Try this for 7 days and see what happens! 

Transmutation

©2012 Joan M. Newcomb

TRANSMUTE: to change or alter in form, appearance, or nature, especially to a higher form

The Buddhists talk about transmutation of emotion.  They have specific practices that help take blocked or stuck emotions, such as anger or hatred, and transform them into love or compassion.

Transmutation is transformation on all levels.  Something has literally mutated into something new and completely different.  It's previous form is gone.  You could say that catepillars transmute into butterflies.

There have been times when my life has transmuted into something completely different.  Within a matter of months, everything familiar has disintergrated and I find myself in a startling or shocking new reality.

What's comforting about this is knowing that, no matter how stuck you presently feel, it's possible to change.  What's disconcerting about this is knowing that, no matter how stable or secure your present circumstances are, it's possible to change.

You could be in a lifelong feud with a relative and find yourself spontaneously hugging them at a funeral.  Years of resentment disappear with one unconsciously generated gesture of affection.

You could think you're in a stable and happy long term marriage and accidentally stumble across evidence of an affair.  Life turns upside down in one heartbreaking moment.

Everything is evolving to a higher form, even if it doesn't presently look like it.  Many people need to bottom out before facing their addiction.  It may look like everything is going downhill, but it's just gaining momentum for miracles. 

Terrible, traumatic experiences can transmute into the best thing that ever happened to you.  Sometimes it takes a few years to be able to look back and appreciate being laid off months before retirement.

We have the opportunity to deepen and mature as individuals in growing through difficult times.

Transmutating ain't pretty.  Birth is messy.  Transmutation can be instantaneous, but it can also take time. 

How can you facilitate transmutation?  If you want to stop feeling stuck, release holding on to what is.  Let go of fear; welcome change.  You may be in effort from trying  hard to make things different. 
Quit trying.  The floodgates could open, and everything you've been wanting could come to you!

This week, there's nothing to do.  Do nothing to try to change, fix or improve, for 7 days and see what happens!

Truth & Lies

©2012 Joan M Newcomb


I've been experiencing some energetic (and email) ping-pong between someone who, I believe, crossed boundaries and *REALLY SHOULD TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT*.

First, someone else wrote them, taking responsibility for their side, and this person wrote back not taking any responsibility whatsoever.

I couldn't let it be, and a week later, wrote them, too.  Their boundary-crossing created a lot of pain and suffering, and I felt they should know it!

Another week went by and this morning I get an email from *their sister* adding her two cents into the mix, making her sibling out to be the kind and compassionate one, and the rest of us were nuts.

Actually, I really liked the sister's email.  It was filled with projections and distortions, as everyone's emails have been, but there was some nuggets of truth in there as well.  And, really, I'm all about shining light on what is, and getting to the Truth.

So now, *I* want to write back and... this is getting really silly.

The thing is, under other circumstances, we could all have been friends.  But things were done in secrecy, not in the open, and that wasn't cool.  Or clean.

I could send evidence.  I could show emails.  I could correct their misperceptions.  Or I could drop it, and get on with my life.

Because in reality, this has nothing to do with my main focus right now.  Which is caring for my mother who is dying of cancer and, because of her Alzheimer's, doesn't know it.  My intention is to give her the best quality of life for the remaining time she has left. So far she is stumping her doctors with her energy level (especially since it appears the cancer has spread), and out-talking everyone at the senior gatherings I take her to (something people on her Alzheimer's medicine usually don't do).

There are things more important than what someone in New Zealand thinks about me, or what they've said or done to violate boundaries.

This is one of those times when, looking back on it all, I'll be able to say this was the best thing to ever occur.  Out of it comes greater healing, greater awareness, greater depth, than ever before.

Stuff like this happens that we never would have consciously asked for (or worked to manifest).  It may seem the most cruel, or excruciating, thing to experience.  And years later you're grateful for it.

Life is funny that way.

This week, notice the nuggets of Truth tucked amidst all the distortions.  If you can't see them, pray for the Truth, imagine gold sunlight illuminating the situation.  Step back and let the Truth come to the surface.

You'll be relieved when it does.

Life is a Road Trip

©2012 Joan M. Newcomb

Life's a multidimensional road trip.  Other's lives interweave and intersect with ours, but our navigation is purely our own.

Life is not predestined, although there are certain landmarks along the way.  Your route is innately your own.

We have some Free Will to navigate.  We have the choice to step out of fixed patterns, to go towards or away from certain patterns.

What we don't understand, at least not early enough, is that every thought, word, deed and action can contribute to your journey, can have quite an affect, years down the road.

There are no mistakes on this road trip.  It doesn't matter if you go left or go right, or stand still.  It's all good. It's all part of the Life Experience.

Your parents manufactured your body, gave you "driving lessons" but it's up to you to make your trek.
At some point you may find their information no longer pertinent.  Just because they think you should have your MSW does *not* mean that's a definite stop on your path.

Your siblings, friends, other family members may have opinions, even kind advice, but they're not driving *your* car (body).  They all want to keep intersecting and interweaving with you, which can be lovely.

It's not lovely when it restricts your growth.

Sometimes when you're stuck in a traffic jam, or have hit bad weather, or on a long, boring stretch of highway, it's hard to own that you are the navigator and the driver of your life.

It's interesting to look back, after getting through those periods, and see how everything came together precisely to create the crisis, or hitting bottom.  You may feel you couldn't possibly have chosen to go through it.

And yet, everything unfolds.  There is always light at the end of the tunnel.  Things get better.  Often more perfect things evolve out of very imperfect circumstances.

So it you are at that part of your journey, you feel you've been head-butting a brick wall, don't feel too bad.  Keep head butting, or stop head butting.  It will change.

The people who say that there's no Free Will are not acknowledging they are both their personalities *and* their Expanded Selves.  Personality is really part of the car/body/vehicle.  It's what makes the experience fun. As your Expanded Self, Essence, Infinite, you see where you are now, and the road ahead.  When you are lined up and in agreement with You, everything flows easily.  Even if sucky things are happening, it still feels like things are okay.

Making choices *as* your Expanded Self is really the way to go.  Unless you prefer to detour through the wrong side of Chicago or head to the Florida Keys for the next hurricane (there are no mistakes, it's all good...).

This week, relax and enjoy the ride.